#Taiwan How did I end up on the other side of the world?

How did I end up on the other side of the world?

Whenever I am back in Poland, and meet someone new, who does not know me yet, and the conversation leads to me revealing in live and study in Taiwan, I usually get wide-opened eyes in response. "Where?"- people ask. "In Taiwan, you heard right" is the usual response. What comes after, can usually be grouped into three main types of a response. Type A: "Where the hell is that", type B: "Careful with the ladyboys, I heard Thailand is full of them", and type C: "Isn't facebook banned in China?/Do you eat dogs?". In the beginning, I was getting irritated with the responses, maybe slightly offended, but as time passed, I got used to it. There is not a huge awareness of the existence of Taiwan among Westerners. The ones who do have some idea, will consider it a part of China- from their perspective, a reasonable assumption. After all, the language spoken here is Chinese, the majority of society is ethnically Chinese, and the official name of the country is Republic of China. In addition, Taiwan does not appear in UN or any other major international organization, and is not recognized as a separate country by most other nations, due to chinese pressures and "One China" policies. Funny enough, however, most of the countries who do not recognize Taiwan as a country, have separate trade deals with China and Taiwan, separate visa policies, separate cooperation programs, and, though not called that, but rather "Trade Office", also separate embassies. For example, Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Warsaw plays a role of a de facto embassy and consular office. But this is politics, and to be honest, Poland-Taiwan ties are not a centre issue for most Poles, so I do not expect people to know much about it. 

Anyways, the second question that comes is usually either "What are you doing there", or "Why so far?". And those two questions are what I would like to answer in this post. 

How did I first get in touch with Taiwan?

During my second year of high school, a girl called Gabi (hope you're reading this) joined my class. Gabi just came back from a year-long cultural exchange in Brazil. Something clicked, and we became friends. Gabi shared her experiences with me, often bringing back memories of her year abroad. Now, I have always been fascinated by what's foreign, what's different, what's exotic, and the more different, the better. I was curious about Gabi's program. Without much hesitation, I asked how did she end up in Brazil. 

Gabi introduced me to Rotary Youth Exchange- a cultural exchange program for teenagers aimed at exchange of ideas and self development through half-independent year of exposure to many different cultures. It is supposed to create tolerant, aware, mature young world citizens. 

The idea excited me. From a young age, I felt like I belong to the world, not to the single country. I read somewhere that "If the world was a book, living in one place your whole life is like reading a single page all over and over again". I was interested in truly finding out what other places are all about. I could never complain with regard to traveling, my family has traveled a fair bit. Before the exchange, I have never been to Asia, however, and it is a region I have always felt a certain attraction too. Around that time, my parents have started a company whose operations based on trade with Asia. Idea for the business came from the will of my parents to find a way to visit a country they fell in love with during their anniversary trip- Thailand. They thought that having a business with the region would allow them to visit it more often. Their love for Thailand fueled my will to go on an exchange. 

I started looking into Rotary Youth Exchange. I found out what costs my family would be facing if we decided for me to go, and what were my options. I anxiously presented the idea to my parents, who were surprisingly positive about the idea. We together were thinking where should I go for an exchange. We got in contact with a Warszawa Józefów Rotary Club which I later went on exchange with, and started asking about possible destinations. As every teenager at that time, my first though was that I would like to go to USA. I quickly gave up the idea, however, thanks to the advice of my parents, as well as the chairman of the Rotary Club. We started looking into more "exotic" options. I thought of Thailand- the country my parents painted in truly exciting colors. When we consulted the idea with the club's Chairman, he said that Poland has not yet had any established connection with Thailand's Rotary, and therefore cannot guarantee anything about the exchange. "But if you're interested in Asia"-said the Chairman- "what about Taiwan?". At the time I had no idea what Taiwan is, except that it is an oriental country, a very strong electronics powerhouse (at the time, the phone I was using was Taiwanese- HTC- and I loved it!), and that the Air Soft Gun I've bought before came from there (also bought on a air soft-dedicated online shopping site, at the time probably the biggest in Poland- taiwangun.com). But Mr. Rosiński, the Chairman, said that Taiwan is a great destination for exchange students because it is a great chance to learn Chinese- a language that will be very useful in the not-so-distant future, and it can lead to more opportunities, since the Taiwan's universities are good, and they offer nice scholarships (from the perspective of time, disputable). In addition, my spot for the exchange would be almost surely secured, since the demand for exchange to Taiwan is not so high, since not so many people know about it (most Polish exchange students choose USA, Brazil, or Mexico). I said I'd give Taiwan a thought, and went home and started googling. My parents helped. We discussed the results, and decided that Taiwan can indeed be a good place for my exchange. 

And so I went. In august 2013, I left Poland for 10 months, and started my Rotary Youth Exchange in Taiwan. I was hosted by District 3490 of Rotary International- New Taipei City, Yilan and Hualian. The hosing club was Sanchung Chianshi Rotary Club. The rest is history (I will definitely cover a bit of my exchange experience some other time. For a glimpse, have a look at my old blog, https://pl-tw.blogspot.com/). Enough to say, the countdown on my phone for the day I was leaving read "The day I die" and I got a tattoo with Taiwanese national emblem and a phrase "及時行樂“, which translates more or less to Carpe Diem or "Capture the moment", something I definitely learnt during the year. At the end of my exchange period, I was determined to come back. 

After return, I had a bit of a tough readjustment period, especially tough since it overlapped with a breakup with my exchange girlfriend, and probably the first love (we were all young and stupid at some point, right? This is what you get for getting into a relationship a month before leaving a place and committing to futureless long-distance relationship). Let's just say, the first month back in Poland wasn't the easiest period of time in my life. But I got my s***t together. I did not go to an easy high school. In my high-school days, my school placed among top 10 high schools in the country, top 3 in Warsaw, and the best public bilingual school. It wasn't an easy ride. In addition, after a year of being out of touch with studying and books, I was facing a maturation exam. I just had to get my s***t together, I had no choice. Especially since by the time September came, I was determined to come back to Taiwan for a University- a way that I though would be the most suitable way for me to have an opportunity to live in Taiwan again. This determination drove me to study and prepare for the exam. During the year I made many good friends in my new class, as well as became close friends with few exchange students in Warsaw. Not being alone definitely helped. I had to give up my passion- dancing, but my dance family stayed close to me, even though both me and them also had a slight readjustment period in the beginning. 

I looked up Universities in Taiwan, and decided to send my applications to two schools which best suited my needs- had English-taught business programs- National Chengchi University and Tamkang University. I checked the requirement, calculated the costs of the studies together with my parents (or to be more precise, looking at it from the perspective of time, miscalculated the costs of the studies). Even though my parents did not like the idea of me going back to Taiwan for University, they were, at least in the beginning, supportive and allowed me to apply, as well as agreed to cover most of the costs in the first year and half the cost of tuition after-fair deal. When May approached, maturity exam was approaching, and the enrollment lists were to be announced, I received a rejection letter from Chengchi Univeristy- oh boy, how worried that got me then- and acceptance letter from Tamkang, which gave me a huge relief. I arrived back in Taiwan on Sept. 1st, 2015, and became a student of International Business at Tamkang University, New Taipei City. Currently, I have finished the 3rd year of my studies, and have one more ahead.

But what was so special about Taiwan that I loved it so much?

I can make a whole list of things I loved about Taiwan, and they would include everything that other bloggers write about Taiwan and why they love it- the delicious food, the super nice and helpful people, the beautiful sights, the thriving business, the opportunity, the high standard of living for a relatively low cost, the everything you see on the surface of Taiwan. But there is more to that.

If I am to be honest, I think the main reason why I love Taiwan is who I am here and how I feel. If you met me in secondary school or high school in Poland, and met me now and here, you'd be talking to two completely different people- safe on surface, same base, but as we all know, it's all in the details. 

Some of my friends may recall me as a bit uptight, not so self confident, slightly cocooned, pretty obedient person. As a child, I was different. I have been loud, cocky, a showoff, a showman, sometimes a self-appointed leader- I loved to tell my friends in the sandbox or in the elementary school classroom what to do. I had a whole bunch of self-confidence. I loved to entertain people- my mom always mentions to me how I would usurp the stage and microphone as a little kid during a big corporate picnic of the company my dad worked in, or how I'd give a dance-show in the very city centre of Warsaw when I was little. I loved the spotlight. I must have been an annoying kid. But perhaps adorable at times ;). But it all sort of died out in me in secondary school. What's most ironic, it died during the time when I should have been most self-confident. I was a dancer. By the time I entered Secondary School, I have had some experience already, and entered the very competitive stage of a dancer's development- when you're good enough to go against others. But my physique did not allow me to perform as well as my friends in the dance club- I was heavier, shorter, wider, did not have as long legs, did not jump as high, did not move as fast, could not keep going for as long as them, even though I worked as hard as them, or at times harder. I was simply not cut out for that as much as my friends. Even though sometimes I would be among the most experienced dancers it the club's pool, I often did not get selected for formations, shows, commercials, etc. It drove my self esteem down. I often saw friends who just started dancing, and who did not dance as well as me get spots I thought I deserved. But that happens, right? And now, being older, I see reasons for it- as I mentioned, my physique limited me from certain things. Some people just looked better on the stage. I'd often, however, be given a second chance, and really live up to it. For example, during the first formation we created, I was not selected as one of the 24 dancers to join the team. I did not learn the choreography as fast as some others during the summer camp at which the formation was made. It really did not work well for my self confidence. Some had to drop out, however, and I was given a chance to join the formation later. I worked very hard, did all I could, and the coach appreciated my efforts- during one of the rehearsals, we were dancing the choreography one-by-one, so all of us could carefully observe each dancer and know what could be improved. After my presentation, the coach said that when he was asking me to join, I was supposed to be the weak link, but now actually I am proving him wrong, and the opposite is happening. Amazing feeling. Did not change the fact that I was never in visible positions in the formation, however, always hidden, always behind. Similar situations happened few more times. Up until the point when I was among the team of 7 that won the historic gold medal at World Championship in Bremen in 2010. We were delighted, we were the Gods then. Everyone in the club admired us. We gave showcases at big events, including Warsaw Challenge- the biggest hip hop festival in Poland- true achievement. My success then was not limited to dancing then. My grades were also waaaaaaay above average, I was one of the top students in my class. I was also the vice-president of student council at my school. All the reasons to be proud. But that's when I was at my lowest. 

I was bullied for being successful. I was bullied for having rules. I did not agree to drink or smoke with others (remember, it was secondary school). I was bullied for having good grades. I lost all my friends from elementary school, all the people I was close with left me then. Others simply were picking on me for no reasons. I was not a liked kid. You'd think with all that happening, people would want to be friends with you. But no. The things I heard about myself drove my confidence to the ground. 

And then I went to high school. People in this high school were great, I think I was liked in general, and with one exception, I had no conflicts whatsoever with anyone. I had many friends. But I was very average. While being used to being one of the top students, with very high grades, easily being selected as students representative, I joined a school where everyone was successful. It was really hard to stick out. My grades were very average, I did not come from an exceptionally rich family (you know what impresses teenagers), I did not look like a model, like many of people studying there did. I was average. And when you're used to the flashy, and you become bleak, you do not take into consideration that it's better to be average among the best than the best among the weak. You just see that "I was special, and I'm not anymore". 

And then I came to Taiwan. I was suddenly in the centre of attention, as there are not so many Caucasian teenagers in Taiwan, especially studying in a high school. People were interested in me, wanted to talk to me, find out about me, be friends. Mentions of my dance successes impressed people. I felt appreciated. I had many friends, and no enemies. I was kind of popular. And I found like-minded people that I bonded with. 

In addition, I never had luck with girls in Poland. I got a rejection after rejection. I was too short, to not-skinny, not cool, not popular, just not the type of guy a Polish teenage girl would want to date. But in Taiwan, I really had no problems with girls. Some of them even considered me attractive. I was not shy to talk to them anymore, they were interested. And it does not only go for the Taiwanese girls. I had girlfriends during that year. I found my first love there, as I mentioned before. 

During the exchange, I also had to make monthly speeches in front of my host club, in Chinese. I was super anxious before each one, but my weak efforts to speak Chinese were still very welcomed and appreciated. When I spoke in front of people, which I dreaded before, people listened, and they were happy. I found out that it is something I enjoy again- being in front of people. 

Taiwanese people, as well as the international exchange students in Taiwan, welcomed me with open arms, and showed me I have value. They showed me I am interesting. They showed me that it's good to be successful, and that your passion is something you should be pursuing, and it's good (quite often in Poland I was called a "faggot" because I danced). From being bullied for doing what I love and being myself, I was admired for it. Taiwan showed me it's okay to be myself, and that whatever has value for you should be held on to. My self confidence was rebuilt, and now I do not hesitate to be myself, to do my thing, to do what I love. I, not my schoolmates, build my personality and image. I get to have a say. When I talk, people listen. That is why I love Taiwan.

Now, here, I found a new passion- social entrepreneurship. Thanks to my university, I was introduced to the idea, and eve since starting the school, I have been involved with and organization called Hult Prize Foundation, now in the capacity of Taiwan Community Director. I am working with truly exceptional individuals, and get to meet the most amazing people through this work. I found out there are many people like me here, and together, we have space to live our passion. 

This place may have it's flaws. It's not perfect. There is a lot to improve. There is a lot that's unacceptable. But in the end of the day, I am overall happy here. I am someone here. And I love it. I do not only love Taiwan for being Taiwan, but I love Taiwan for allowing me to be me.